hoLLy goSSip

Madonna announced last month that she and Ritchie were going their separate ways… and now they have been granted divorce.

Following a hearing in London Friday, the judge at the clinical Principal Registry of the Family Division of the High Court in High Holburn, London has granted divorce to the British director and the Sticky and Sweet performer.

Reports state that the couple, who married in Scotland in 2000, will share joint custody over their children, Rocco, 8, and David, 3, who will split their time between Mummy Madonna in the US and Dad Guy in the UK.

Lourdes, 12, will be staying with Madonna since she is the singer’s daughter with Carlos Leon, the 50-year-old singer’s previous partner.

The couple’s 8-year-old union will be legally dissolved in six weeks time when they will be granted a decree absolute.

Darn, that was fast. Somebody with "emotional disabilities" wanted out reeeaaal bad.

Paris Hilton has confirmed that after dating for nine months, she and rocker beau Benji Madden had indeed parted ways.

Rumors of their breakup started after Hilton was photographed with ex-boyfriend Stavros Niarchos. The chatter first appeared in Star magazine, and now Hilton has issued a statement via spokesperson Alanna McCarthy.

It simply stated that the former couple, who are set to host Sydney, Australia’s New Year’s Eve celebrations, will “remain very good friends.”

I seriously doubt that… but whatever.

For a while there, everyone thought Paris had settled in nicely after appearing normal and behaved for almost a year.

But now… it’s back to good old partying ways for the socialite.

The little girl is too young to go potty by herself, yet Forbes (for some reason) has hailed TomKat’s kitten the most powerful kid in the planet.

The famous magazine ranked 2-year-old Suri, the most fashionable baby in town with her designer dresses and shoes, at the top of their list of the World’s Most Powerful Tot Under Age Five. She bested THREE Angelina Jolie-Bradd Pitt progenies. That's some accomplishment.

The list of kids most of whom desperately need deprogramming lest they become disturbed citizens in the near future is comprised of wildly popular celeb spawns. They are:

1. Suri Cruise
2. Shiloh Jolie-Pitt
3. Zahara Jolie-Pitt
4. Pax Jolie-Pitt
5. Sam Alexis Woods (daughter of golf ace Tiger Woods)
6. Cruz Beckham (Victoria and David Beckham's youngest son)
7. Matilda Rose Ledger (daughter of actress Michelle Williams and the late Heath Ledger)
8. David Banda (Madonna's adopted son with estranged husband Guy Ritchie)
9. Sean Preston Federline (Britney Spears' 3-year-old son with ex K-Fed)
10. Sam Sheen (daughter of Charlie Sheen and ex-wife Denise Richards).

Some say that the one of the basis for the list is the ability to “projectile poop on demand.”

Actress Lindsay Lohan is getting a lot of flak for pinning the colored word to describe newly-elected President Obama.

In an Access Hollywood interview, Sam Ronson’s other half was asked about her feelings after the Democrat candidate won the US presidency.

Lohan replied, "It's an amazing feeling, you know. It's our first colored president…"

Which blew the tops off of about a million citizens who are greatly aware of what the word means. They have now taken it into their hearts to hate her some more.

But even so, some have forgiven the Mean Girls star, saying she isn’t exactly “the sharpest knife in the kitchen." Last year, The New York Daily News gave her the top spot in its “50 Dumbest People in Hollywood.”

Several though have attributed the deficiency to her superstar mother.

Lohan, who’s lately in the spotlight more for her love life and encounters with the law than for her career, has always been vocal about her admiration for Obama. She even went to the extent of offering her services for the then-candidate, but was politely turned down for reasons (un)known.

Recently, she’s been rumored to have gotten in trouble on the set of TV series Ugly Betty. She has also admitted to Harpers Bazaar Magazine that she isn’t exactly a lesbian, but that she’s, like, totally in love with her femme pal/lover Ronson.

Here’s the newest Hollywood figure to get bitten by the politics bug.

Batman Forever actor Val Kilmer has come to a decision. He wants to follow his buddy Arnold Schwarzenegger and serve the American denizens.

Kilmer, who relies on good old Terminator for advice on politics, sincerely believes he has what it takes to become a State Governor in New Mexico.

According to the New York Post, Kilmer, in a longish cell phone interview said, “There's sort of a rumor around that I'm maybe thinking about running to be governor of New Mexico? Well, it's sort of true. It's been my home 25 years. I really love my state.

“Poor, hardworking, decent people - Native Americans, carpenters, artists, expats mixed in with hundreds of the world's smartest physicists at Los Alamos. I've always thought of myself as functioning as a candidate for them.

“The media interests me and it's influenced politicians since the '60s, and I'm approaching this as a worthy serious endeavor. I would be very comfortable in my position as a representative for the people."

The actor, 48, went on to say, “People in the state are being supportive. Our current governor, Bill Richardson, who's hoping to be picked as secretary of state, and whom I've seen down in the dirt helping people you know could never help him in return, and whom I love, had a dinner for me and said not to dismiss the idea. Said I could be a great governor."

And there's more coming.

"After I wrap this film, I'm off to L.A. to see my kids then home to New Mexico to talk to friends and see what they say. I know I'm not yet qualified for the job. It's not like I need fame. If that's what it's all about, I wouldn't live in New Mexico."

To prepare for the gigantic career change, the star declared, "I plan to sit down with Arnold Schwarzenegger… But being famous as an actor is one thing - they take no prisoners in politics."

Caped Crusader. We’re pretty sure NM will be in good hands.

The overly hyped collaboration between pop princess Britney Spears and pop icon Madonna has been finalized at the Dodgers Stadium in Los Angeles Thursday.

Both of them decided to open the show, which nobody really expected to happen so early in the night. They did their version of Human Nature, with Spears looking classy in a black pants and white top. Meanwhile, Madonna looked like a… 50-year-old joke in her fish-netted attire. As one observer aptly puts it, the pop star “looked like a fading drag queen in a state of denial.”

Their routine was extremely tame in comparison with the last performance they had together in the MTV Video Music Awards back in 2003, when they showed the world a lip-lock act that earned for them lots of publicity – negative ones though. Justin Timberlake also appeared and worked the stage with Madonna in the LA leg of her Sticky and Sweet Tour.

The show was reportedly a big success in spite of fears following a minor stage collapse on Wednesday. Before the show, Madonna stated, "Even though my stage roof was damaged and some lights and effects aren't working, I want to do the show anyway because I don't want to disappoint my fans."

Following the passage of California’s Proposition 8, singer Melissa Etheridge is telling government officials they can’t expect her to pay her taxes after they stripped her of her right to marry another woman.

Etheridge and other stars such as Brad Pitt, Ellen DeGeneres, Mary J. Blige, and Sacha Baron Cohen have vocally opposed the passage of the controversial constitutional amendment, which upends a California Supreme Court decision that permitted same-sex marriages. The new ban may retroactively nullify the unions of couples Portia de Rossi and DeGeneres, and George Takei and Brad Altman.

In a blog post on The Daily Beast, which you can read here, the 44-year-old singer says that if she's not “allowed the same right [to marry] under the state constitution as any other citizen. ... I am taking that to mean I do not have to pay my state taxes, because I am not a full citizen.”

Etheridge, whose five-year marriage to Tammy Lynn Michaels is not legally recognized, adds, “There is a lot I can do with the extra half a million dollars that I will be keeping instead of handing it over to the state of California.”

The singer ends her post with a message for Prop 8 backers, "Gay people are born everyday. You will never legislate that away."

You’d wish it was that easy.

Who would have guessed that the Dallas Cowboy quarterback is actually JC?

Country singer(?) Simpson credits her athletic beau, Tony Romo, with saving her from a heartbreak courtesy of Nick Lachey, of that certain oldish boyband.

Jess insists that her football player, who she first gamboled around with a year ago, is the first “strong” man she has gone out with.

She tells Usmagazine.com, "I'd always fall for guys I wanted to save. For the first time, I fell in love with someone who saved me." I personally wouldn’t call that “saving.” Rebound would be more appropriate.

Wedding bells part 2? "I think any person who I'm gonna date for longer than six months, I definitely am investing in something long-term. If I get married again, then it will be the last time."

The bottom line: She’s still not over Lachey.

Country singer Jessica Simpson’s hairdresser was had to be brought to ER after a crazy paparazzi attack outside Madeo during the weekend.

Gossip site TMZ reports that Ken Paves, the creator of Simpson’s hair extensions, was leading the star out of the restaurant when the hawks dived in for the kill.

One pap’s camera hit Paves near his eye, resulting to a bloody face. Even with the red stuff oozing out of his forehead, he was still able to maneuver his way around the flock of photo-hungry group and got Simpson inside a waiting vehicle.

The driver then sped to a treatment facility practically located two minutes away, reportedly Cedars-Sinai, where Tony Romo’s armpiece went inside with her injured BFF.

A heroic gay knight in bloody armor. Jess owes him big for his fantastic combat skills.

Travis McCoy is adamant in trying to save beau Katy Perry's face after she landed it on a Quinceañera cake, kissed the floor, and slid all over the stage at MTV’s Latin American VMAs held last Thursday.

At the end of Perry’s performance, she belly-flopped into a giant birthday cake, got covered in cake stuff and icing, went up to the nearest band member, slipped on the floor, and went on an endless sliding spree onstage that the show’s crew had to cut the scene off since it appeared Perry was going to crawl to get out the stage. Fortunately for her, band members took pity on her for making such an a-- of herself in front of Latin audience and attempted to help her up.

Now boyfriend McCoy claims it was all part of his zany lover’s act.

"She did it on purpose. She hit me right after the performance (and said), 'Baby, you gotta see the performance! You gotta see the performance!' and I watched it. And I was like, 'Baby, did you fall?' and she's like, 'I did it on purpose.'" And now her lawyer is up in arms. Slip and fall case now out the door.

McCoy tells MTV News, "It was all planned. I think she murdered it, man...She's a step above, a step ahead, you know? And I've always backed her."

Did it on purpose. Yeah right. I had to watch the video over and over and over and over again just to see that part – after the belly-flop – where she slipped all over the stage (mucking it along the way) ON PURPOSE. I’m sure the band members were in on it, too.

Actress Jennifer Aniston was at the receiving end of a dressing down when she turned up late for a talk to pupils about the importance of water nutrition.

Aniston is a spokeswoman for vitamin-enhanced Smartwater and was scheduled to call on Cahuenga Elementary School to be a part of a question and answer session with kids about the benefits of water.

But, after she turned up a few minutes late, school head Lloyd Housky bravely told her, “As a school principal, I need to tell you that you cannot keep our children waiting!”

The actress confessed punctuality wasn’t in her dictionary and replied, "I understand! I got that message from my principal when I was going to school, too!"

And you’d think she could at least have apologized first. But methinks she never got the message from the principal in her younger years.

High School Musical star Vanessa Hudgens recently has found a new mentor in the person of Tom Cruise, who she thinks is “amazing.”

She was on her HSM 3 publicity tour when Victoria Beckham thought it wise to introduce them. The teenage star initially admitted she was stunned when Cruise sat her down for a conversation about her career.

Hudgens, who’s apparently on a first name basis with Posh, states, “I was at a Spice Girls concert because Victoria invited me and Suri, Kate and Tom all walk in and Victoria was like, ‘You know Tom and Kate, don’t you?’ And I’m like, ‘No!’ And I got to talk to them, they are all really great people.”

That’s when Cruise spoke to her and gave her words of wisdom.

Hudgens says, “He was so sweet and such a nice guy…just telling me there isn’t much that you can do, it’s just part of your life and you have to accept it.  He is an amazing guy and I look up to him.”

This one from the Scientology supporter absolutely stands out: “… It’s just part of your life and you have to accept it.” He makes it sound like Hudgens has an illness or something.

Anyways, people have this funny idea that Cruise has her on his sights for a VIP membership in the Scientology club. Can't really blame them. She seems ripe for the picking.

You’ve got to hand it to the former U2 frontman. He’s always wanting to save the less fortunate denizens and figuratively smacks government officials for wasting taxpayers’ money on wars. But...

The thing is, he wants funds channeled to more important issues that hunger for financial resources – like a Spiderman musical that’s scheduled to begin next year and will be based at the New York Hilton Theater.

Here’s the most awe-inspiring part: the musical interpretation, to be written by him and U2 bandmate The Edge, will have running costs of $1 MILLION each week!

In case you haven't been up to date with all things Broadway, the Spiderman musical, to be helmed by The Lion King director Julie Taymor, is the most expensive production in Broadway history.

Of course, it’s mighty hard to tell how many AIDS victims and Africans can be aided using those millions. What’s certain though is that their numbers will be much, much, way, way higher than those who’ll be watching the musical spectacle.

Before you go blast the hair out of him, there’s some more. Initial costs are said to be in the mark of $40 MILLION, but the folks there are trying hard to keep costs to a minimum, so they’ll have to spend only $35 MILLION.

Hardworking, positive-minded CPAs are said to have sweated the figures out and came up with this: For the Broadway version of Spiderman to turn a profit, it has to run for the next 8,000 years (!) with a full-packed venue.

8,000 years? ROTFL. This has got to be the funniest thing. Seriously, me can't imagine how it would all go down.

So, the next time you see Bono on your idiot box during primetime blethering about how the world should put an end to poverty, us, ordinary people can point out that at least we didn’t fritter away millions on a singing and dancing Spiderman.

Perpetually badly dressed pot mocks similar almost-always strangely-garbed kettle.

Duh personality Mischa Barton (what's her occupation again?) tells UK’s The Sun, "Posh doesn't strike me as particularly stylish. I don't think she's a good example of British style at all.”

Before you go yelling who let the raccoon in the building and why it’s wearing a dress of all things, you’ve got to hear the raccoon Barton first: “I think the reason people like my style is that I do my own thing.” And you thought raccoons didn’t speak. Hah.

Anyway, this may come as a surprise to Posh since she’s used to people (the British anyway) seeing her as the goddess of style, bowing down at her feet, and praising the heavens for her impeccable fashion sense.

But Barton? No dice, spice. The British-born former OC star bravely says, “The reason people like my style is that I do my own thing.”

Riiight. But doing your own thing doesn’t mean you should go to charity balls looking like something out of the woods with a blah sweatband. And looking worse than that certain Olsen twin.

Californication star David Duchovny has checked out of a rehabilitation center he entered in late August for addiction to sex.

“David is out of rehab and about to start a new movie. He successfully completed his treatment,” People quotes the actor’s lawyer, Stanton ‘Larry’ Stein.

Duchovny has been married to actress Téa Leoni since 1997, with whom he has two children, daughter Madelaine West, 9, and son Kyd, 6.

Rumors have it that prior to checking into a clinic, he was addicted to sex chat rooms and that he would attempt to "bang" practically any girl who went to the set of his Emmy-nominated TV show, where he plays a sex-obsessed character.

The actor checked into a facility on August 28 and is now all cured... Talk about a severe sexual addiction curriculum.

Latin performer Jennifer Lopez believes the Church of Scientology is not at all shady and would even send her kids to Scientology school.

“I do know a lot about Scientology. And I know about the practices. I know all about what the technology is and all that kind of stuff. It’s very helpful. So in a sense, yeah, you do call on it,” Lopez says.

This isn’t really surprising coming from her, who’s friends with Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, and John Travolta.

Some people find the religion strange, what with Scientology bits like psychiatrists deliberately destroying other people’s minds, curing heroin addiction with a weekend-long program, and being able to read complex emotions using a homemade sensor and a battery.

There’s also the theory on Martian warlords tossed into volcano scores of years ago and their fragments causing negative sensations in humans. An issue that hasn’t been brought up of late.

Anyway, the newly-minted triathlete talked about the wonders of Scientology in an interview posted at The Daily Beast. Here’s an excerpt:

Q: Do you consider yourself a Scientologist?

JL: No…I wouldn't have a problem saying [I was] because I know what it is. I have no problems with it and it really actually bothers me that people have such a negative feeling towards it.

Q: That it is too exotic? Too cultish?

JL: Just negative feelings.

Q: Would you consider schooling Emme and Max in a Scientology school?

JL: Yeah. I wouldn’t mind. Not at all. Because I know that the technologies that they have are very helpful…It’s all about communication. That’s the thing I really don’t like about talking about this. I do know so many great people who do do it, who choose it as a lifestyle and really follow it and it is their religion…I just wish that people wouldn’t judge it without knowing what it is.

Ho-hum. Okay.

If this doesn’t crack you up, I don’t know what will.

Sculptor Marc Quinn has finally revealed the much-anticipated gold statue of his all-time idol Kate Moss at the British Museum.

The sculpture is part of a special Statuephilia exhibit, which also features the works by Damien Hirst and Noble and Webster. The exhibit will run from Oct. 4 to Jan. 25 next year.

Called Siren, the hollow effigy cost a puny US$2.67 million and used up merely 50 kgs. of gold. It’s reportedly the biggest gold statue made since the Egyptian era. The major waste of gold figure, which some people think would make a good addition to their tomato garden, weighs the same as the live Moss.

It shows her in a contortion that looks almost impossible to execute – a yoga stance where both her legs are explicitly knotted behind her back so that the thong-clad frontal features are laid bare for the world to make fun of.

British newspapers seem to have found the pose distasteful too interesting that they decided to feature the upper section only, thereby cutting off the lower region. Which is a bit unwise since readers won’t really be able to make out what Moss is doing if you removed the nether region.

Oh. Guess you’ll just have to look for the image elsewhere or you could always drop by at the British Museum.

British supermodel Naomi Campbell is putting the blame on the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks for her luggage dispute with British Airways.

Back in April, Campbell was ushered out of Heathrow Airport and taken into custody after spitting at a police authority during a row over her YSL suitcases.

She was then sentenced and was made to render community service in London after she acknowledged the deed. She insisted then that her temper flare was provoked after racial slurs were thrown her way.

Now, the catwalk queen is stating that she will never again board another BA plane and she’s claiming that the 2001 attacks in the US have altered the course of air travel ever since.

Campbell tells the Evening Standard, “I think after 9/11 you can't say anything anymore on a plane. I've flown British Airways for years, since I was a child. The stewardesses will tell you that I would get on a plane, put on the blanket and go to sleep.

“I'll never fly that airline again, but nothing's really lost. I did get my luggage. I was reunited with my (Yves Saint Laurent), and everything was cool."

Bin Laden better watch out. The Campbell has got her sights on him.

Actress Heather Locklear was taken into custody after “driving erratically.”

The 47-year-old blond bombshell was pulled over by California police after a witness reported saw her leaving a parking lot and “driving erratically.”

The arresting officer saw the actress’ car parked on a state highway and blocking a lane in the upscale area of Montecito, LA. When he went over to her, he got the idea that Locklear appeared to “be under the influence of something,” patrol spokesman Tom Marshall said.

When she was taken to the police station, she was tested for drugs and alcohol. At 7 p.m., she was booked on the suspicion of driving under the influence of prescription medication. Locklear was later released from police custody.

Back in June, she checked into a rehab to have her anxiety and depression treated.

All things aside, she absolutely doesn’t look her age. But she looks anxious and depressed though.

Let’s just hope she gets herself a driver. By the way, where's Jack Wagner?

The secret that 97.239% of earthlings are already aware of and have suspected all along.

Seriously, did it ever occur to Clay's Idol fans (talking 'bout you, Claymates) how he had that effortless way of reaching those high notes back in the good ole AI days?

People features Aiken and his new baby on the cover with the words, “Yes, I’m Gay.”

Must have been quite a relief for him to finally get that out in the open, and a huge for Clay's mates, who are probably thinking up of tomato-throwing schemes.

Wonder where they have all gone to? Them Claymates who branded the media “evil” for even hinting that Aiken belongs to Perez Hilton’s “gayborhood.”

Anyways, it’s about darned time. It’s not like he excelled at hiding it anyway. Besides, there wasn’t ever any denying it.

Oh well, at least, the baby “officially” now has a pair of doting mommies.